Quick Tip

Love FOR YOU! Upgrade your MINDSET so you can KNOW when your growth is happening….the Journey is NECESSARY!

It’s OK to ask…..

When is the last time you sat and just gave your life a COMPLETE evaluation? Complete meaning physically and more importantly, MENTALLY? How many of us actually sit and think about our mental health and well being at any given moment?

I reviewed a few articles such as the information being provided by the CDC about how EVERYONE reacts differently to stressful situations. The times that we are living in at this present moment are NOWHERE near the norm. Times are truly testing everything about us mentally whether we want to believe it or not.

According to Nature.com, Women are most affected by pandemics β€” lessons from past outbreaks. Current events would and has tested each one of our mental capacity in some what shape or form. Some have been able to keep it together for the most part. Others are a more heightened with emotions and rightfully so. These are crazy time folks. You are going to want to implement something a little bit different for the sake of your mindset if the same is NOT working for you anymore. Different times calls for different methods to cope, embrace and tackle! Talk to someone about any different emotions, feelings or thoughts that you may be feeling. It is OK to seek Coaching Services for guidance on how to complete your journey to being your totally UPgraded SELF! Don’t be ashamed to get accountable and getting a push to get it! Coaching is something that is being welcomed and even more so embraced at all levels business and even personal levels more and more and is more common and USED more than we think…Having A Coach for any part and aspect of your life is something that 99% of women that have tried services have said it had a positive impact on their lives and would and HAVE Made it apart of their lives……..


www.cdc.gov CDC




This image speaks so much volume to me. I had actually just casually shared this image on Facebook yesterday, but it actually stopped me from doing what I was doing at that time after reading it again. I really had to think, I literally have overcame ALL of these! Each and every one of these are something that I have done and experienced at some point in my life.

  1. I was ALWAYS trying to please and accommodate other. Some may have taken advantage and others may not. If I even sensed that someone was stressing, or a situation came up, I was right there, ready to go to battle for sometimes things that I didn’t even fully have all the details about.

2. Fear…….Change……I was so worried about other shit, these honestly didn’t go ‘together’ in my mind at that time. I didn’t think I was “scared” because I just kept telling myself that I really didn’t need any changes right now because I was hindering myself to and for others. Truth is, I was fearful of change so that is how I subdued my own emotions by doing for others.

3. Living in the past – I couldn’t honestly figure out how I could move forward with my life. What was honestly holding me back? My core beliefs basically. I have been taught that you don’t abandon those close and loyal to you, NO MATTER WHAT. I was stuck in that logic, my past beliefs for the most part were keeping me in the same tunnel of nowhere.

4. Putting yourself down: Being a Plus size woman, of course there were times where I didn’t always think highly of myself. I was able to hold my own for the most part around others but there were times when being alone, my mind would overwhelm with all of the chatter and negative, sometimes lucid and disrespectful attention and it would sometimes get to me.

5. Overthinking – THIS right here! THE biggest struggle. I will say that I am a TRUE GEMINI when it comes to overthinking. We have been hit with that stereotype and stigma, but to be honest, ITS ALL TRUE. LOL. If I could count the amount of thoughts that can sometimes go through my head say, in an hour, it would have been a great accomplishment.

There was a breaking point. A boiling point. The Coronavirus was that point. When the lock down began, My overthinking went into overdrive. I was still only working part time, and had wayyyyyy too much time spent doing NOTHING BUT THINKING. I was still attempting to help , But I wasn’t helping ME at all! I was swallowed in so much other shit besides my own it was ridiculous. My mental well being started showing cracks. REFLECTION CAME AT THE PERFECT TIME. I rescued myself FROM myself.



  1. The change is necessary. I had to QUIT. Quit worrying about everyone else! YOU ARE PRIORITY!

2. Embrace fear and understand that it can only restrict you when you stay STUCK where you are because of it.

3. LET GO of the things that plague your growth as a person. The past is just that….THE PAST. It is hard but SUCCESS is not easy.

4. Confidence is from the inside out. If your mental being tells you that you are the shit, Then that is what you are. Reprogram your MINDSET to make you the beautiful, smart amazing person inside and OUT.

5. Learn to control your thoughts. Write THINGS DOWN! I have had over 7 journals at one time and point just to allow myself to release those over thoughts crowding my mind. Once I wrote things down, I gave up more space for new creativity, new topics, new ways to extend my platform, etc. I still tend to overthink a little bit honestly, however those thoughts are ones that bring action as I have supplied myself the tools to recondition my way of thinking and UPGRADED my mental being.

Blessed to be a BLESSING!

I was doing some reading the other day and I just so happened to read that August 4th, was a fun holiday known as Single Working Women’s Day! The Gemini Mindset that I have will sometimes just spontaneously pop things in my head and I embrace it and decide whether or not to put it to action…As I continue to open my Platform to my fellow woman, I was thinking this was the PERFECT ‘HOLIDAY ‘ to show some beauties some appreciation just for their grind and hard work. We have to take care of ourselves and we will most of the time put our own self on the back burner to ensure things are coming through for others. My focus will always be to show women that we can be PRIORITY and still help others when needed….LET’S FACE IT, women are some powerful creatures…. I LOVE being a Woman and even more love being able to help, guide, encourage, and motivate others!

I ran a CashApp/PayPal shout out contest on my social media platforms blessing 5 lovely ladies to a little monetary blessing! As soon as the idea popped into my head I created the flyer for this fun Holiday….excited about it so much I could hardly sleep Monday Night! 😁

I announced the winners yesterday evening on my FB page…..these ladies were and are sooooo thankful! The rush that I got being able to be a blessing to these lucky ladies just tells me that I am clear in my purpose…..I want all women winning! I want us to UPgrade the way we think, act, and BECOME….each one of us has a story, I have turned my story into my journey and can’t say enough that the Journey is Necessary! I will continue my focus and I will continue to uplift, guide and shine with my fellow Queens! We rock!


Your “Time”……..

It’s Saturday! This has been a pretty hectic week thank goodness for the weekends! Even though I grind everyday of the week, Saturday and Sunday are my “chill days”. Reflecting, redirecting and refocusing on “UPgraded” ways are now what I consider “chill days”. I no longer have children at home, so Coaching is my Baby, and I love it which makes it so easy for me!

There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself, That is the overall purpose and goal of course! I’m speaking more so from a place of……..NOT being HAPPY where you are at in life overall. Before my journey began, I was all about chaotic behavior. Saturdays and Sundays were my free days to just do whatever, no work, just “play”! I know that there is someone saying “there is nothing wrong with that”. I didn’t think so either… I was able to come and go as I like, however reflecting back, I was miserable! Yes, I was hanging out with my friends, I was being social, I was “enjoying life”….or so I thought. Something was missing. I had to find it.

I was complacent. I was just doing the minimum to live. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was with how things were going for me. There were so many things that just weren’t going right, even though I still kept smiling on the outside. I had mentally told myself that this was what it was. I had accepted it, I had let my mind tell me, “You cant do this”, “it will take too long for this too happen”, “you don’t have the time to do it”.

AHHHA! TIME!! Why the hell don’t you have time?? You have time to hang out with your friends. You have time to sit around and mope about what you want. You have time to spend 2-3 hours a day maybe even more on social media scrolling and seeing that same shit that has NOTHING to do with you growing as a person. Sis, you have the TIME. Start putting it to the use its there for……to Upgrade your Mental and UPGRADE your way of life.

We have to understand that until we get ourselves completely in tune MENTALLY, You will remain STUCK. You will remain complacent. You will keep asking why things are not going the way you feel they need to go. You will feel like everyone else is against you, but truthfully YOU are reason things have not changed for YOU. You are the reason that you are not getting ahead like you feel you should be. YOU are the reason that your life is moving slower than a turtle.

You have no one to blame for your complacency BUT YOU! I know how hard it is to come out of a set way of living your life. If there is ANY self doubt, displeasure, frustration, or situational depressive behavior going on with you, NOW is the time to take action! I am a Coach who is all about Accountability. I had to swallow that pill myself, and that was honestly the thing that made things begin to turn around for me. Once I accepted that I am the reason for being STUCK in my ways, I had no other choice BUT TO GET UP AND GET IT! It was either that, or never speak on my goals and dreams again because I was giving up and didn’t want to achieve nor WORK for them, I just wanted them to fall in my lap.

The Journey, whichever journey you may be on or wanted to head to, is NECESSARY! Let no one or nothing tell you that you don’t deserve any and everything you are willing to work to obtain!



Yesterday morning I decided to post a quick Snapchat Video to Facebook with one question…….Who are you Living for? I will ask again, WHO ARE YOU LIVING FOR? This was a question that I felt the need to just ask. I was especially interested in the ladies responses and much love to those who responded on the post as well as privately in my inbox. Thank you for the feedback ladies! My questions was to make you THINK about it….

When I ask if you are Living for YOU? I’m not referring to the day to day responsibilities we have, but more so about your MENTAL MINDSET.

Is your job more priority that your mental?

Are your relationships, situation-ships, negative reflections more priority than your mental?

Are the affairs of others more priority than your mental?

There are some of us who make or have made other people and things more priority than themselves, simply put. I was guilty of it. I love helping people where I can and would jump at the attempt to do so. Those close to me know that I was the Motivator, the Mediator, the Negotiator, and many other take charge type things. I would debate someone under the table with my opinion and views, not only because I was strong minded as I always have been, but because it was pent up frustrations that I was subconsciously releasing not realizing how dis-pleasured I was. How limited my life had actually been. Negative and frustrating behavior was busting out of the seams. I held myself back. I was underplaying the fact that my emotions are pretty much directly linked to my thoughts. I pushed them to the back of my head to try and cover up the resentment, reflecting back now know I had, to others but more importantly to ME.

My Journey began………It is definitely true that our beliefs are our personal filter. What I think will happen WILL HAPPEN! You think NEGATIVE that is what will stay in your life. I found my WHY. No more focusing on ANY negative energy whatsoever, I SPEAK POSITIVE!

My phenomenal women, you can make the changes in your mental mindset. Changing and reprogramming our mental to things to a positive path, routine and environment is NECESSARY. If you are stuck at your job, if you are stuck in a relationship, if you are stuck struggling with beginning/maintaining your healthy eating/lifestyle habits, it starts with the MIND. Its time to UPGRADE your MINDSET. You can still do for others but keep yourself PRIORITY. ALWAYS. Women are winning, and with our Mental well being intact, we are a force so strong we will cause shock waves in whatever we want to do in our lives.

My platform is open ladies. I want us ALL winning. Know that it is OK to ask questions about upgrading the way you think, therefore upgrading your whole way of life. Positive thoughts create positive creations.

Photo Cred: kylie De Guia

I’m Different……😎

Think different…. Act different….Live different….Spend different…Buy different. Support different…. BE DIFFERENT PERIOD😎 How you ask?

It doesn’t have to be hard to obtain as well as maintain YOU..this is the time, step out your comfort zone and do what it takes to UNglue your mindset from the normal, and take your life in an Upgraded direction! We live in a world where I have seen people make LIFE changing DECISIONS based on what someone ELSE’S thoughts and opinions. Where are the original thinkers?? This as well as many other reasons are exactly why I created this platform of UPgraded MindsetZ, focusing more on my Coaching and Mentoring for my beautiful women who don’t know how to get themselves UNSTUCK. I want to see people winning and seek to give a woman the tools she may not necessarily KNOW she is missing because she is COMPLACENT and the same as everyone else…Now is the time in our lives to level up and show a different and rising approach as well as an Upgraded Mental well being…. you ready for the workout it will take for an UPgraded Mindset??? The journey is Necessary…πŸ’ͺπŸΎπŸ’―


Very important to KEEP your MENTAL on point! Once your mind gera focused, you have to KEEP IT FOCUSED. Your success depends on it!πŸ’ͺ🏾πŸ’ͺπŸΎπŸ’―


This message touched my soul….. Someone posted this on Facebook today and this message is a whole vibe! THIS! is what I envision for women as a whole. I dream of the day when us women become so confident and strong minded WITHIN ourselves as well as FOR ourselves. My goal in Coaching is to share and convey to each and every one of my past, present and future clients that a confident, upgraded mindset is attainable and sustainable for the long term. Women have put our own emotions on the back burner and made hold their own issues to themselves, being complacent with our own lives because it didn’t fit someone ELSE’S. I was guilty of that for many years…..helping people because I loved doing it, but losing my self in the process. NOW I AM PRIORITY. Once I began the necessary work to get my MINDSET in order, everything else began to get so easier. No stressing over simple, trivial, quickly to forget situations. I’m now able to stay completely focused on what it is I want and what I’ve manifested into my life thus far! I have launched a platform to allow women to be able to open up and be guided to live in their complete truth. I think different. I Act different. I WORK different.

I AM DIFFERENT. I have created an UPGRADED way of thinking for myself, which in turn is upgrading my way of life…..I’m only just beginning…..this journey is necessary and so is yours!


How many of us take the time away from EVERYTHING? I used to be the one who thought that I could just “stay plugged in” and just keep absorbing the everyday hustle and bustle of social media, having somewhat empty conversations, and watching meaningless videos for the sake of staying “in the know”. It wasn’t until I actually started distancing myself away from it that I noticed how much it had overtaken my day to day thoughts. That was probably one of my hardest struggles when beginning my journey. Your mind gets cluttered with all the junk we see on all social media platforms for starters. Sure you can say it doesn’t bother you, but I personally feel that people are not being honest and upfront by NOT acknowledging that it has some type of influence. Whether you are commenting on a topic with your very detailed opinion,  or sharing some very disturbing images, videos ,etc. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a HEALTHY debate, meaning I enjoy having a dialogue that all parties can walk away “unscathed”. I’m referring to the senseless, bullying, fights, crazy politics,  etc. Whether we want to believe either or not has some type of negative affect on our thoughts. If only for a moment. 

I have learned to put my phone away, we ALL need a moment to ourselves,  no ringing, no messages, no notifications. I understand our lives are busy, I definitely can relate with feeling like there are not enough hours in the day. However even with the  added clients, my blogging, etc….I STILL TAKE TIME FOR ME. My phone is  “Do Not Disturb” at some point every day.  Whether for a 15 minute meditation, or just to reflect on my daily blessings. I definitely understand that although I can’t cut the craziness of the world wide web, I CAN control what and how much of something I will even watch or read. I have gotten myself disciplined enough to know when to CUT IT OFF. I will do just that. It is very important to SELF REFLECT. I Make it a point to do so everyday….EVERYDAY….

Turn the phones off folks. Take it back to the “old days” of grabbing a book, newspaper, or just sitting on your couch thinking about and creating a master plan for the next stages in your life. Write things down! Make a personal commitment to reflect every day without the notifications and watch how you start to see things clearer, whatever it may be.

How to Choose a Life Coach β€” Stevie Barnes

Had to share this – excellent breakdown of what a Life Coach can offer!

The International Coach Federation (ICF) has 36,000 members and estimates 53,000 coaches in the world. Whilst this still equates to an unattainable 147,000 clients per coach if you agree that everyone could benefit from one, it does mean that there are a few to choose from. So how do you go about choosing the rightΒ […]

How to Choose a Life Coach β€” Stevie Barnes


After a client meeting today, I journeyed out in an to attempt to “interact with society”. This new normal is a hell of an adaption. Let me just say I didn’t last to long out and about. Here I am in front of my computer. I am TRULY OK with that too.

In our recap conversation, I realized again, as I had in the past when starting my own journey, how obligated some people try and make others feel and can sometimes feel to those around us. Part of my own journey I realized how entitled some people really are. I have begin to notice how people are backing away on the “work ethic” to live life, and attempting their hand at “get rich quick”, fake investment opportunities, and crazy other internet based spam, with no intention of researching anything on their own. Then blame others for their own mishandling and expect another handout for their own convenience. When do we ALL take accountability? Brush off, acknowledge your mistake, turn it into a lesson and MOVE FORWARD with a new plan. Not crying about the mistake for months and blaming everyone else. ACCOUNTABILITY! That word is a word I have implemented into use everyday in my practice. Accountability leads to RESULTS!

I used to wrestle a lot with letting go of all things and people who meant me no good during my struggling times, or at ANY time for that matter. I struggled because I felt a sense of “Loyalty” and that I was just supposed to “roll with you” just because. When does that cycle get broken? When do we stop trying to blame others for our fuck ups and take accountability so we can MEND and RESTORE? Until full accountability comes into play, your vision will remain just THAT, a vision with NO merit. Things, lifestyles, people, ANYTHING that has no positive bearing in your immediate life should NOT even have a presence IN YOUR LIFE. We are scared to LET GO, when all the while we are RESTRICTING ourselves. Everyone is NOT meant to go with you, ESPECIALLY if they are not doing anything REMOTELY close to what you are doing for YOU to UPgrade your Mindset. Allow NO ONE to interfere in your journey. WALK YOUR PATH. Being carefree of others opinions, situations and bullshit rhetoric is what will keep your journey free and clear for complete happiness and peace.

Your Journey is necessary…..YOURS!